What Starts with F and ends with K

A first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students.  The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your problem?" Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is!  I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!" Ms. Brooks had enough.  She took Harry to the principal's office. While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test.  If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave.  She agreed. Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test. Principal: "What is 3 x 3?" Harry: "9." Principal: "What is 6 x 6?" Harry: "36." And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know. The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the 3rdgrade." Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions." The principal and Harry both agreed. Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?" Harry, after a moment: "Legs." Ms Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?" The principal wondered why would she ask such a question! Harry replied: "Pockets." Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?" Harry: "Pants." The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open. Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?" The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, "Bubble gum." Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?" Harry: "Shake hands." The principal was trembling. Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?" Harry: "Firetruck." The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last six questions wrong... "

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Sentuhan dianggap pelik

Dah boleh disalahertikan oleh orang sekeliling..

Statue John Lennon yang unik...

Ada sesuatu yang menarik tentang video ini. Statue John Lennon di Cuba, seringkali cermin matanya di curi orang. Sesuatu yang tidak disangkakan telah dilakukan oleh pihak berwajib bagi mengatasi masalah ini....

 

Rosmah jugak yang best..

Sultan Kelantan terima darjah kebesaran daripada Yang di-Pertuan Agong Berita Harian

 (7/12/11): Yang di-Pertuan Agong, Tuanku Mizan Zainal Abidin hari ini berkenan menganugerahkan Darjah Kebesaran Darjah Utama Seri Mahkota Negara (DMN) kepada Sultan Kelantan, Sultan Muhammad V.

 Majlis penganugerahan darjah kebesaran itu disampaikan Perdana Menteri, Datuk Seri Najib Razak yang mewakili Tuanku Mizan kepada Sultan Muhammad V itu di Bilik Rehat Raja-Raja, Istana Negeri, Kubang Kerian di sini.

 Turut berangkat sama Tengku Mahkota Kelantan, Tengku Muhammad Fa-Iz Petra Sultan Ismail Petra dan kerabat diraja yang lain. Hadir sama isteri Perdana Menteri, Datin Seri Rosmah Mansor; Menteri Perdagangan Antarabangsa dan Industri, Datuk Seri Mustapa Mohamed; Timbalan Menteri Kewangan, Datuk Dr Awang Adek Hussin, Ketua Setiausaha Negara, Tan Sri Mohd Sidek Hassan dan Timbalan Menteri Besar, Datuk Ahmad Yakob.

 Selesai majlis penganugerahan itu, Sultan Muhammad V kemudiannya turut berkenan menganugerahkan Darjah Kebesaran Mahkota Kelantan Yang Amat Mulia (Al-Muhammadi) (SPMK) kepada Rosmah. 

 Majlis yang bermula kira-kira jam 5 petang itu berakhir 45 minit selepas itu. Perdana Menteri dan isteri kemudiannya berlepas pulang ke ibu negara - Bernama.

Antara surat pelik minta putus cinta.

Sumber dari internet

Tentang bola serta level manusia

I found this humorous little post at the blog called ratboy's anvil 2. I don't think it needs any explanation.

1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL.

2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BOWLING.

3. The sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL.

4. The sport of choice for supervisors is BASEBALL.

5. The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS. And....

6. The sport of choice for corporate executives and officers is GOLF.

THE AMAZING CONCLUSION: The higher you go in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become.
There must be a ton of people in Washington playing marbles!
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Source

Mari bergelak ketawa dengan saya.

TEACHER:    Maria, go to the map and find   North America   .
MARIA:         Here it  is.
TEACHER:   Correct.  Now class, who discovered   America ?
CLASS:         Maria.
____________________________________  

TEACHER:    John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN:          You told me to do it without using tables.

TEACHER:  Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN:      K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER:  No, that's wrong
GLENN:       Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.  
(I  Love this child)
____________________________________________

TEACHER:   Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD:     H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER:   What are you talking about?
DONALD:    Yesterday you said it's H to O.  
__________________________________

TEACHER:   Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we
didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE:       Me!
__________________________________________  

TEACHER:   Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN:          Well, I'm a  lot closer to the ground than you are.  
_______________________________________

TEACHER:     Millie, give me a sentence starting with '  I.  '
MILLIE:         I  is..
TEACHER:     No, Millie..... Always say, 'I  am.'
MILLIE:         All right...  'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'      
________________________________

TEACHER:    George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.  
                   Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS:           Because George still had  the axe in his hand....    
______________________________________  

TEACHER:    Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON:         No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.  
______________________________

TEACHER:       Clyde , your  composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your   brother's.. Did you copy his?
CLYDE  :         No, sir. It's the same dog.     
(I want to adopt this kid!!!)
_________________________________

TEACHER:    Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer  interested?
HAROLD:     A teacher
________________________________  

PASS  IT AROUND AND MAKE SOMEONE LAUGH!
LAUGHTER  IS THE SOUL'S MEDICINE!!

Moment yang gila-gila

Semoga Monday Blues anda bertukar ceria.

Thechive.com

Ni la post bila mata tak mau tido.

Dengarnya ada perkumpulan juta - juta belia kat Putrajaya. Ganas pulak mendengarnya. Ada program qiamullail tak? Memang brilliant otak - otak pemimpin UMNO ni.

Najib dengarnya turun sana pakai baju Manchester United.

Harap maklumat.

Hidup orang muda!!

3 in 1

Ada nafsu nak pakai tak?

posted from Bloggeroid

How to write a paper in college/university

1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well lit place in front of your computer.

2. Log onto MSN and ICQ (be sure to go on away!). Check your email.

3. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand it.

4. Walk down to the vending machines and buy some chocolate to help you concentrate.

5. Check your email.

6. Call up a friend and ask if he/she wants to go to grab a coffee. Just to get settled down and ready to work.

7. When you get back to your room, sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well lit place.

8. Read over the assignment again to make absolutely certain you understand it.

9. Check your email.

10. You know, you haven't written to that kid you met at camp since fourth grade. You'd better write that letter now and get it out of the way so you can concentrate.

11. Look at your teeth in the bathroom mirror.

12. Grab some mp3z off of kazaa.

13. Check your email. ANY OF THIS SOUND FAMILIAR YET?!

14. MSN chat with one of your friends about the future. (ie summer plans).

15. Check your email.

16. Listen to your new mp3z and download some more.

17. Phone your friend on the other floor and ask if she's started writing yet. Exchange derogatory emarks about your prof, the
course, the college, the world at large.

18. Walk to the store and buy a pack of gum. You've probably run out.

19. While you've got the gum you may as well buy a magazine and read it.

20. Check your email.

21. Check the newspaper listings to make sure you aren't missing something truly worthwhile on TV.

22. Play some solitare (or age of legends!).

23. Check out bored.com.

24. Wash your hands.

25. Call up a friend to see how much they have done, probably haven't started either.

26. Look through your housemate's book of pictures from home. Ask who everyone is.

27. Sit down and do some serious thinking about your plans for the future.

28. Check to see if bored.com has been updated yet.

29. Check your email and listen to your new mp3z.

30. You should be rebooting by now, assuming that windows is crashing on schedule.

31. Read over the assignment one more time, just for heck of it.

32. Scoot your chair across the room to the window and watch the sunrise.

33. Lie face down on the floor and moan.

34. Punch the wall and break something.

35. Check your email.

36. Mumble obscenities.

37. 5am - start hacking on the paper without stopping. 6am -paper is finished.

38. Complain to everyone that you didn't get any sleep because you had to write that stupid paper.

39. Go to class, hand in paper, and leave right away so you can take a nap.

Mengenali Istilah pemerintahan berdasarkan contoh

Politics Explained

FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all of the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.

BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and put them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you need.

FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk.

PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.

RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.

CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both of them and shoots you.

DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.

PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

PURE ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.

LIBERTARIAN/ANARCHO-CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

(Original source unknown . . . this version expanded and Illuminated by SJ.)

Nuklear itu barang mainan agaknya.

Lagi mahu bicara tentang selamatnya loji nuklear padahal keselamatan penumpang bas pun kelam-kabut. Rancang macam-macam padahal satu haram habuk pun tak buat.

Itulah, bila ditegur akan peranan rasuah boleh menghancurkan negara ditibainya pembangkang sampai isu kek pun jadi muka depan akhbar. Tapi selamba badak pula bila juara rasuah dilantiknya jadi pengerusi FELDA. Kata bangang kang dituduhnya kita mahu kasi hancur sama ini negara. Standard BN otaknya kalah dengan otak udang.


Loji Nuklear Gebeng: Kalau Selamat Suruh Semua Menteri Pindah Ke Sana http://bit.ly/h07UR7

posted from Bloggeroid

Anda penat layan isu Datuk T? Moh sesama kita hilangkan kusut dikepala..

Gambar gua cilok dari Barnorama.com

posted from Bloggeroid

Gila punya lawak berita ni..

Thechive.com

posted from Bloggeroid

Berita yang boleh dikira hangat hari ini.

Di Jepun bahaya radioaktif telah menular ke dalam air laut. Saintis disana cukup risau kerana tahap pencemarannya sangat tinggi. Bahana ikan yang ditangkap seperti ikan kembung contohnya boleh jadi bahaya kalau kita telan. Namun, usah lah kita risau kerana pasti ikan itu tidak mampu untuk berenang sampai ke persisiran negara kita. Terlalu jauh..

Lagi berita yang lain pula adalah diberitakan identiti Datuk T telah dikenal pasti. Bunyinya macam Eskay. Lantaklah, apa gua peduli. Tetapi yang best nonton porno tak salah mana pun kata seorang ulama UMNO bernama Nazri.

Berita lain pula ialah keputusan SPM 2010 keluar hari ini. Sebab lama dah SPM ni gua tinggalkan maka pedulik apa gua. Namun tahniah pada calon yang berjaya serta cuba lagi buat calon yang dapat keputusan tidak memuaskan. Guru Besar jangan nak pening-pening kepala ye. Bukan ko yang ngajar. Ko pandai ngarah aje..

Khir Toyo dan Zulkifli Nordin apa khabar?

Anwar punya kes pula ialah Saiful boleh menarik lafaz lega kembali. 3 barangan asal bukti telah diterima oleh mahkamah manakala dna pula hakim tak bagi. Jadi pandai-pandai la gobok mana tempat yang boleh dapat salinan yang dulu-dulu tu. Jangan nak ek bodoh pula. Ada masa terluang tu pegi baca buku.

posted from Bloggeroid

Zulkifli Nordin

Yang salah macam sumpah-sumpah depan tv ngan mintak dna 18 kali kita tinggalkan.

Yang benar macam buat laporan polis, fight kat mahkamah kita ikut.

Membaca la sket.

Porn-porn ni gua tak masuk campur. Zulkifli Nordin boleh jelaskan.

posted from Bloggeroid

Justin Bieber

Melawok ye..

posted from Bloggeroid

Budak-budak sekarang inilah realitinye

Kesian mak yang kena hantar ikan pagi-pagi sementelah bapaknya kena gout. Langsung takda belas ehsan pada orang tua sendiri.

posted from Bloggeroid